Don't get SCAM-ed
or
"Keeping your sanity and bank account intact"

Most folks on this site are honest people looking for honest friendships and romance. However, as with any dating site, we do get a few SCAM artists. We weed most out at sign-up time and block their accounts, but they're not always obvious and some slip through.

This article is meant to help you spot the crooks. If you're ever unsure if your contact is a scammer - please ask us! We have a lot of experience. We are very happy to help you, whether you're a free or full member!

We know of two popular SCAMs:

Nigerian Money SCAM

Not always from Nigeria; often from Senegal Dekar, Ivory Coast, and even US addresses.

Here's how it goes: I'm a young (seemingly naive) African, my rich daddy was just assassinated, and he left me gobs of money. I need you, someone I've never met, to help me move $20 million dollars to your country. I'll give you 10%.

Sorry, but this is not your pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

• Did you know that this SCAM is the biggest revenue source in Nigeria?
• Did you know that they'll ask you for money (for "paperwork" or "to bribe officials") and then disappear?
• Did you know that otherwise intelligent people, including college professors, fall for this every day of the year?
• Did you know that the secret service even has a division just for this scam? See info here ».

You have been warned. See examples here »

Russian Bride SCAM

Not always from Russia!

First, they will try to seduce you with beautiful pictures. Next, they will sweet-talk you into sending them money. Then they will disappear. Nothing complicated. And yet men fall victim to such scams daily.

Here's how it works:

You meet this gorgeous woman on the Internet from another country. You correspond with her for a while. You are getting to like her. A lot. At some point she tells you that you are the love of her life. Money is the only problem. So, could you please send her some cash to help her pay for rent/telephone bills/hospital bills/internet service/plane fare/visa/passport?

Such a request should immediately put a man on his guard. But it often catches him off guard instead. Why? Because he feels like he has known this woman forever when in fact he has not. He sure is convinced this woman is completely innocent. She is just really desperate and needs his help. And men just love to help women in distress. (Tell me it isn't true!)

This is a scam. Money will be sent, and she will disappear. Or not. Perhaps she'll come back asking for more. Will you be foolish enough to continue? Most likely yes, until you've reached your personal limit. Is it $1,000, $5,000 or more?

A scammer might use many plots to achieve her ultimate goal. She will always play on your feelings. She will do her best to arouse your sympathy. What would you say to:

"I don't have enough money to pay for my internet service"

coming from an incredibly sweet attractive woman? You do want to stay in touch with her, don't you? The 50 dollars she needs would not hurt your budget, would it? How about ...

"oh, my god! My mom's dying of cancer! I've managed to find $500, but it's not enough! I need $5,000 … I'm so devastated, and I have no one to turn to for help! No one but YOU.. I've been crying my eyes out every night... You're my only hope in the whole world..."?

How would you react to that kind of heart-wrenching story? Would you rush to Western Union and wire her money to keep her from selling herself?

It would help if all men receiving this kind of message would realize that there is no dying mom. There is simply a crafty scammer behind that "cry for help." There is no human tragedy here; just shady business.

A scammer can come up with a hundred good reasons why she needs money, and why YOU and only YOU have to help her. However, most of them use the same old tricks that have proved fairly reliable. A girl might ask a man to pay a non-existent monthly fee of $50. She might tell you she needs money to pay an interpreter to translate her letters to you because her English is not good enough to let her express her true feelings. And you do want to know about her inner feelings for you, right? She might tell you a heart-breaking story about her losing her job, losing money, being in debt. The list goes on.

The girls' English might be poor, but it does not prevent her from being very convincing. Some of them are rather blunt about the money matter. Others are very subtle. They might not openly ask for money. They might simply imply it by complaining about how tough they have it. And guess what, YOU end up offering to send her some extra money without her even asking!

Honest or Not?

No honest, respectable woman would EVER ask you for money in such a situation. Nor would she hint at it. No matter how reasonable they might seem to you, any money requests are absurd and inappropriate. By complying with them you are setting yourself up for a big fall - both your heart and your bank account.

A woman who has her heart in the right place would never play on your emotions. She would never try to arouse your sympathy with a view to get money from you. She would never exploit you and your feelings. A true woman does not want pity. She wants love. She does not want money. She wants a relationship. She would NEVER accept any money from you until you have actually met, and your relationship has turned into something real. You do not want a woman preoccupied with money. A scammer will of course claim she does not care about money, but actions speak louder than words.

You are by no means encouraged to become cynical. There is no need to be distrustful of all women. You should keep in mind that 99.99% of the women on dating sites are not fakes. They are sincerely looking for companionship and someone they can, perhaps, spend the rest of their lives with. They are truly beautiful both on the outside and inside. We only wish to warn you of those very few dishonest ones. Please... don't waste your feelings, sympathy, time, and money on scammers. Save that for that special someone who truly deserves it.